Snow
by Double
Summary: [One-shot, Clover] I can only look through the window at the tantalizing snow outside, never being able to touch it. But perhaps, with Gingetsu, I can reach that. As long as I’m with him, I believe I can do the impossible. fluffy, RanLan X Gingetsu


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_**Snow **_

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White feather-kikes substances drifted down from the sky, swaying this way and that in the wind. Ran looked out of the window. That must be the snow he read so often about in books and poems. He never knew why poets liked so much to express their feelings through snow, since he had never seen it before today – and ice shaving did not count as something beautiful or inspiring in his opinion – but now he did.

He had made it a habit to look out of the window first thing in the morning, and almost had a heart attack when the whole view in front of him was white. But it was a pure and enchanting white which he couldn't' take his eyes off. There were some on the edges of the window too, but they melted under his warmth when he leaned too close or stayed too long. Ever since then, he had been staring at the snow, until Gingetsu came to check on him, knowing that he normally would be up and about by this time.

"It has been a year since I've been here, and this is the first time it snows," he said over the breakfast table, the one to strike up a conversation as usual.

"You like the snow?" Gingetsu asked, seeming cold and indifferent, but it brought a smile to Ran's lips. Gingetsu never said anything useless. If he asked, it meant he cared.

Nodding, Ran walked over to the window, feeling the heavier footsteps of Gingetsu behind him.

The sheen of white out side hand thickened, the snowflakes dancing down steadily. The world looked so much more different when it was blanketed with snow, so much more surreal and dreamlike, as if everything had jumped off form a Christmas card. The trees, now stripped bare of leaves, were laden with snow on their painfully think braches, which miraculously, had not broken off. Even a single, dried leaf could support an amount of snow times larger than itself. Ran wondered why.

"How does the snow stay on those twigs? Is it very light? There are so many footprints in the snow, so is it soft too? Is it like cotton? Then why does it melt when I go near it? What does the snow feel like?" Questions blurted from his lips bearing child's curiosity towards a tantalizing sensation which he knew was forever beyond his reach, even if it was something as simple as the snow. Seeing a frown starting to crease the man's forehead, Ran quickly added, "You don't have to answer, it's silly of me to –"

"The snow is like ice," Gingetsu answered, cutting him off, "it's cold; it melts. But unlike ice, it appears in tiny flakes, therefore when gathered, gives the impression that it's soft. You can never hold the snow in your hands for long. It is something that can only be watched, not possessed. Yet even so, after the season fades away, I twill be gone from you sight all the same . . ."

Ran looked up at Gingetsu, who's eyes lay unfathomable behind those ever-present visor, but his voice held a not of carefully and painfully balanced melancholy. His steps swayed, placing him closer to his protector. It was rare for Gingetsu to say so much at one time, and almost unforeseen for his voice to hold emotions. Ran knew it was for him, because of him, and a slight smile graced his lips even as the reminder sank his heart a few notches. Five year . . .

"Thank you, Gingetsu, for telling me about the snow."

Silence ensured. Ran stared, fascinated, as snowflakes pelted onto the windowpane, then melt immediately up on contact, turning into tears that streaked down the glass. Unconsciously, he reached out his hand.

"Do you want to be out in the snow?"

"Y . . . No! I mean, of course not!" he jerked his hand back. What was the point in causing Gingetsu trouble with his own desires at something which he knew was impossible to obtain? He tore his gaze away form the tempting scene and forced out a laugh. "Come on, let's get back to breakfast. I've go us all side-tracked."

With his wide strides, Gingetsu walked to the breakfast table and promptly pushed it to the side of the window.

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I had learnt to want; I had learnt to desire, looking through the window, at the outside world. It wasn't as ugly and horrible as I thought, with the plants growing in spring, sakura blooming in summer and fiery leaves in autumn. Whenever I stared at the outside for a while longer, Gingetsu would surly bring the object of my attention to me, before I even asked. At times like this, I would wonder if I was an inconvenience, but after profusely apologizing for the first few times, he said that if I were to continue, he would get angry. That shut me up, but didn't stop him from bringing things home.

Now . . . there was the snow. I didn't expect him to bring it back too, nor did I really want, to the extreme, to be out there. I was satisfied with this cage, my cage, as long as Gingetsu was there with me, and A kept safely in the lab. I wouldn't go even if someone were to point a gun at my head.

In comparison, this longing for the snow was but a curiosity for something I had never knew. It was a trifle. I must tell Gingetsu this, so that he would not go through the trouble to bring me snow. I knew that he would, even if I had refused this morning. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have showed so much enthusiasm about snow in the first place

"Gingetsu . . .?" I whispered and knocked timidly on his dbedroom door. It was long past bedtime, but somehow, this issue bothered me, keeping me up, until I finally couldn't bear it anymore and decided to convince him of my preferences before he could set out on his ideas of how to bring back the snow tomorrow. And also to prevent myself from dying of insomnia, which seemed all too likely if I kept this up. The dancing snowflakes outside weren't good encouragement for sleep either.

"Come in, Ran."

Pushing open the door, I saw that he was sitting on the bed, studying some papers under the dimly lit lamp. Work, I suppose. He was still wearing the visors, but instead of the usual rigid uniform, he was wearing a bathrobe. I didn't know hwy, but I made me feel a tad more nervous than I thought I would. Perhaps it was just the dim light, or . . .

"Umm . . . Gingetsu," I muttered and walked to him, not daring to sit on the bed, like a child awaiting his parents' lectures, "about the snow, I really don't want it all that much. It's just a stupid curiosity, nothing more. It will go away in a few days, so you don't' have to do anything. I'm really content with living here, with you beside me. I ask for nothing more."

He looked at me evenly, then said, "There is not one curiosity that this silly in the world. It doesn't make you wrong by wanting something."

"B . . . but I don't want to cause you trouble!" I stuttered out, shriving slightly in the cool air as I was wearing only my pajamas. "I don't want to become your burden and make you unhappy . . ."

Encircling a large, warm hand around my arm, he pulled me over and lifted a corner of the thick heavy quilt. "Go in. you're cold." I opened my mouth to protest, but his curt and firm tone made me unable to object, so I climbed into the bed beside him and he draped the quit over my shoulders. It still retained some of his warmth, making me feel as if Gingetsu was literally taking me into his arms. And I blushed at the thought.

"You are not a burden," he replied, in his usual monotonous voice that hid his true feelings, to the confessions I had previous made. "Stay here tonight. I don't want you to catch a cold running around."

"Hmm . . ." I mumbled sleepily, the safety his warmth provided was all too soothing that it made me drowsy. Perhaps subconsciously, I snuggled closer to him and his touch as he ran his hand through my hair.

Just before I totally fell asleep, I heard him talking to someone through the visor, thought the words were too blurry to make out. There was glass, steel, another room . . . I couldn't hear others.

I never found out if he slept beside me that night, being too embarrassed to ask afterwards, but I didn't feel cold that night. For the first time in my life.

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The next morning, woke up to an empty bed. Gingetsu had always been a morning person, but what was surprising was the smell of breakfast wafting into my senses. Gingetsu almost never makes breakfast since I was in charge of that form the time I entered this house.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw him staking pancakes onto a plate. He, surprisingly, was wearing only a white shirt and dress slacks. I'd rarely seen him in that. "Do you have the day off?" I inquired.

He inclined his head in agreement. After the breakfast, he put on a heavy trenchcoat and handed me one of my own.

"Close your eyes." I did as told, and he guided me through the house, never letting go of my hands. I heard a door click open, and a gust of chilly air swept through me. It couldn't be outside, could it?

"Open your eyes."

It was snow. A thick layer of it covered the ground, while others continued to float down from the sky. Tiny pinpricks of coldness shit my face, and it took me a moment to realize that it was snow. That I was actually feeling the snow. It was just within my reach; there was no glass in between.

I spun around and gaped at Gingetsu. His face still held no emotions, but he took off his trenchoat and la it over my shoulders, despite the fact that I was already wearing one, and gave me a little push. "Go on."

I took a tentative step, and the snow sank wit ha soft crunch beneath my feet. I brushed my palm across the snow, and it felt as if I had touched nothing, except for a wave of coldness that encased my hand. More daringly, I scooped up a handful of whiteness and tossed it into the sky, letting it rain down on me.

Gingetsu had let me reach what I thought was impossible.

For a moment, I really thought, I really believed, that I was free . . .

The "walls" of the room were made up of huge planes of glass, joined by thin metal grids. It was at the back of the house, where very few people would trespass. Walking over to he all, I placed my hand on the glass, feeling it.

:: Bullet-proof fiberglass and hard steel ::

There was no roof, connecting me at least, to the sky, as if I could fly out any second.

:: Strong electromagnetic field covered the whole room. Invisible, almost undetectable, but inescapable ::

:: A glass cage ::

I thought so. The government could never let me off so easily. but they didn't need to do this, since I was already confined in a permanent cage the day they planted the bob in Gingetsu's head.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have done more."

At his voice, I turned to face him, and smiled. Walking forward, I wrapped my arms around his waist and whispered contently into his shirt, my voice somewhat muffled.

"No, this is already more than I can ever hope for."

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End file.
